27-Oct-2003
Relationship Coach Newsletter #125
The Marriage and Long-Term Relationship Quiz, Part 3

To review Part 1 of this quiz, go here. To review Part 2 of this quiz, go here.

How strong and long-term is your long-term relationship? Test your capacity for longevity and lasting love as a couple by taking this quiz together.

This is far more than a simple quiz. You can use the areas in which you find weakness in your relationship as points to work on with your partner, ensuring more happiness for more years together.

If you want help working through the quiz or want to delve deeper into each section of the quiz, I am writing detailed articles on each quiz section in the RCN Plus, a premium version of this newsletter. To subscribe, click here.

Directions:
Print out this week's sections of the quiz and take them somewhere you can be undisturbed.

Complete the sections by placing a checkmark next to each statement you agree with. Score the sections by giving yourself one point for each checkmark. Record your score for the week and keep it on hand.

At the end of four weeks -- at which point you will have received all 10 sections of the quiz -- combine your scores and read the quiz score interpretation.

If you are in a relationship, ask your partner to do the same, then get back together and compare your scores. Use your answers and your scores as a springboard for discussion.

Use this quiz as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of yourself, or if you are in a relationship, of yourself and your partner. Use your unmarked/disagree statements as points to work on.

The Marriage and Long-Term Relationship Quiz, Part 2
Will You Live Happily Ever After?

Section 7: Taking Care of Your Needs
1. My partner is not responsible for taking care of my needs. It's a nice benefit of the relationship most of the time, but it is not an obligation.
2. It's difficult at times, but I am working on being the one responsible for taking care of my needs
3. I do not punish my partner when he/she is unable or unwilling to be there for me
4. I do not punish myself or think badly of myself when my partner is not able or willing to take care of my needs
5. I know that it's not personal when my partner is unable or unwilling to take care of my needs
6. I do not have a problem asking my partner and other safe people, repeatedly, if needed, to meet my needs
7. I can take people saying no to my request to get my needs met
8. When I feel needy, I know exactly what to do to take care of myself to feel better
9. I have soberly and calmly assessed how much and which of my needs I am willing to not get met and for how long and still remain a relationship
10. My needs are important to my well-being and must get met
____ YOUR SCORE FOR SECTION 7

Section 8: Dealing with Emotional Pain and Discomfort

1. I can admit when my partner or another person is right about me doing something wrong
2. I can admit to my personality or habit flaws and can admit to their negative impact on others
3. I can take suggestions for change and growth from others without taking it as an assassination on my character
4. I am grateful for suggestion on change and growth - they are opportunities for me to continue my personal development
5. I can handle discord with my partner, as long as we are being productive in our discord
6. I can handle prolonged discord with my partner
7. I can tell my partner to truth about myself and about him/her and the behavior that impacts the relationship
8. I have healthy tools to deal with my emotional pain and discomfort
9. I do not tolerate emotional and/or physical abuse
____ YOUR SCORE FOR SECTION 8

Section 9: Sharing What's Inside

1. Vulnerability is essential to the health and longevity of a relationship
2. I know what it feels like and how to be emotionally vulnerable
3. I am not afraid of being emotionally vulnerable
4. Vulnerability is a choice of sharing what's inside - it is not a weakness, and it is not neediness
5. I want to be seen by my partner, both the good and the bad of me
6. I want to see all parts of my partner, to love the good and to accept the bad
7. I reveal myself for the sake of being known, even if being knows does not guarantee acceptance
8. I may keep some information hidden from my partner for a time, as the relationship matures and grows to be able to embrace the information
9. I seek out healthy avenues to deepen our connection and sharing
10. I am smart about not sharing information of I know it will be used against me
____ YOUR SCORE FOR SECTION 9

____ YOUR SCORE FOR SECTIONS 7 THROUGH 9